Oh dear. oh dear. I just re-read my last post and it's terribly melodramatic. All that stuff about the enemy camped at the gate and being under siege. You see, the truth is that there are days when I do feel like that, when the enormity of everything that has happened over the last year builds up inside me and comes tumbling out in black and white on the page.
Then there are lots more days when I feel absolutely fine and don't write a thing.
And that, dear Reader, is the danger of reading what you find on the internet. If you Google Tamoxifen, you will find dozens of stories from women who are sharing their stories because they are having a tough time and need advice or simply someone to sympathise. When my oncologist first told me that I should take Tamoxifen for ten years, I wasn't too worried at first, after all, the idea of taking a tablet every day as pretty minor compared with the terrors of chemo and radiotherapy. But then I started surfing and it seemed that every woman on Tamoxifen was suffering a terrifying list of symptoms which soon convinced me that I was facing years of hell.
It is now three months since I started Tamoxifen and I have not written a single update. In fact, I barely written at all in the last couple of months. Is that because I have been struggling with the burden of toxicity in my system? No. It's because I have (almost) nothing to report. Not a thing. Life has swept back with all her glorious normality and I have not once been inspired to start typing.
Of course, I have some physical symptoms. The inevitable hot flushes are, however, so minor compared to what I experienced on Taxol that they are barely worth reporting. I have some slight dizzy spells when I eat which I am putting down to Tamoxifen (dizziness is listed as a possible side effect although, to be honest, that list seems to include pretty much everything you can think of). And....that's about it.
So I guess this post is a rather long winded way of telling you ....that I have nothing to tell you. Everyone's different and there are certainly women who have a rough time with Tamoxifen but I suspect there are lots more like me, quietly taking Tamoxifen without experiencing anything to prompt them to share their stories. It might not make for the most exciting post, but actually it's also a story that deserves to be shared.
I too read all those scary stories about tamoxifen and braced myself when I started in January. Like you, almost no side effects, and no blog post about it, either! I wish you continued good health!ReplyDelete