Liver Ultrasound (Echography)

It's Day Two of testing and so far I've had - in addition to the bloods and chest x-ray of last week - a bone scan, an MRI and a liver ultrasound.

I had planned to write about each test in turn, thinking it might help those who tread this path after me.  But first, I'm going to have to jump forward to the liver ultrasound.

Not that it was a difficult test - just more squishy gel and a frowning medical expert looking at a screen.

The things is... she found a lesion.  She thinks it's an old lesion, maybe something from the short period I used oral contraceptives or even something I've had from birth.  She can't be sure.  So I'm likely to need another test to check whether it is connected to the Cancer.

In other words, to see if the Cancer has metasised to my liver.  And if that's the case, then the 'non life threatening' assurances from the doctor start to sound a bit hollow.

There's a horrible falling feeling in all this.  Ever since the first, reassuring visit to the doctor (which became a bit less reassuring after the first biopsy and less still after the second) we've been sliding downwards to more scary places.  Every time a test result comes back, I hope we've hit the bottom and can start treatment and the slow climb back up.

Probably this will turn out to be nothing.  But the end of this long fall hasn't come into sight yet.

I hesitate to post this - it sounds so bleak and miserable.  But if I am to honestly write the story of this journey then I need to include the dark valleys it takes me through as well as the sunny, optimistic days.  One day, I hope, I will look back with a wry smile at my fears that proved to be groundless.

I hope.