I'm in bed and I'm cold, cuddling the hot water bottle I made to soothe my muscles aches and the spasms in my joints. The next moment, heat creeps across my scalp and I'm pulling off my night cap (very unflattering but bald heads do get jolly cold) and throwing off the duvet, expelling the hot water bottle from the bed. The heat radiates down my body and dissipates: hot flash over, I'm freezing again. My night cap has vanished and my hot water bottle is sulking under the bed and the duvet resists my feeble tug.
No wonder I'm tired in the mornings.
Tired, achy all over, numb at the tops of my fingers and worrying about the brownness of my nails (but no flaking yet) and itchy in places I really don't want to describe in detail. And so, so very glad that it's nearly all over.
My doctor is glad too: my white blood cells are low yet again this despite my post-Neupogen peak last week. My bone marrow is 'sensitive', apparently and she doesn't think I could do much more. But I got the green light for the eighth of my nine weekly Taxol today so next week will the last....if my white blood cells hold up.
On a more positive note though, I had imagined that I might be languishing in bed by this stage of chemo and I am most definitely not that bad. We had to stay home this Christmas due to the weekly treatments but we've still been out and about on day trips and I've coped fine - with a more restful day in between anyway. My appetite is positively good now (unlike on FEC) so I've enjoyed all the festive fare, though a weekly weighing does have the disadvantage that I now know exactly how much I put on over Christmas...oops.
Chemo has definitely been tough but nothing like as bad as I had feared.
So all in all, I might be staggering towards the finish line - but at least I'm still getting there on my own two feet.
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