Taxol Intensifying

The last few days I have been feeling rather sorry for myself.  I am so tired, I feel like a yawn machine.  I'm at the end of my weekly Taxol cycle but I'm still miserably achy and the hot flashes continue so I haven't had a good night's sleep all week.  And now I am dizzy, breathless and my chest feels tight...could I be coming down with the dreaded cough that is working its way through the school?

To be honest, the truth is that I've let it get me down.  I've convinced myself that the reason I feel so rotten is because my white blood cell count is down again and I've talked myself into a depression because more delays will mean that chemo will drag on well into the new year.  

The road ahead was starting to look long indeed.

But it seems that my little white blood cells are determined to catch me out.  My blood test this morning showed that they have zoomed up to their highest level since starting Taxol - a wonderful 3000!  So I will be able to go ahead with my fifth Taxol tomorrow, taking me over the magic half way mark.

Apparently my breathless and tight chest is due to water retention on the lungs, a normal side effect, and not an infection at all.  The dizziness is due to low blood pressure so I need to eat salt and sit with my feet up while wearing support stockings.  (What a sight I will look, watching TV in the evening with my headscarf, bags under my eyes, flat chest, feet up and sexy support stockings....munching on a salty bag of crisps!)

So I'm still achy.  And tired. And yet I feel so much better than I did this morning, just because I know I can go ahead this week, and probably next week too.  Taxol may be intensifying its relentless, weekly pressure but I can cope if the end is still in sight.  

Hold on little white blood cells, we're nearly there.