Today is a waiting game and that's hard. I don't know yet what I'm dealing with. We gleaned from the French covering letter intended for the consultant that its Grade II cancer - a quick Google showed that to be the most common and not-too-aggressive form of cancer. But what stage? I still worry about that biopsy on my lymph node.
Mostly I manage to be pretty positive, I just need to get this done. Other times, I fear that this is only the first battle in a war that will gobble up the next decade...and the rest. Once the thief in the night has visited, it is difficult to ever feel secure again.
But often I just feel childishly pissed off because it's not fair and its going to screw up the summer. Why me? I don't even have any breasts to speak of! And I was the mother earth type who breast fed her babies as long as I possibly could, wasn't that supposed to protect me?
Of course, the answer is that life isn't fair and if it only screws up the summer then I will have been incredibly lucky.
Would I rather have the evil luck that has visited our friends and left their son with an inoperable brain tumour? Would I have my husband knocked off his bike by a car as happened to another friend?
Bring it on.
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