I spent today preparing for my mastectomy.
Step one: shopping. A quick Google search suggests that I won't easily be able to put T shirt tops over my head after the op. So that was a great excuse to go shopping for some cute button-up-the-front shirts, loose enough to disguise the flatness. I also found a couple of dresses which naturally puff out above the waist so I'm hoping that should disguise a fair amount. I have no idea what I will do about bras at this point - I haven't really got time to worry about it so will have to figure that out afterwards.
I had a moment of feeling sorry for myself, but I had to laugh when my dear husband flicked his eyes over me and pointed out, in the nicest possible way, that I'm not actually going to be parting with much. Then he held me and told me that I would still be beautiful and he would love me with just one boob. Which, given I had just told him I wouldn't love him any more if he gets fat again, was quite sweet really.
Step two: packing. I bought new pyjamas with a button up top as well as a zip-up robe to take to hospital with me. And some new underwear (I'm so fed up of going for tests and realising my knickers have holes in them). My friend advised packing disinfecting wet wipes for hygiene and sunglasses in case you feel rubbish and the light is just too bright. I've put some relaxing music on my phone and put in the eye mask and inflatable pillow that another friend gave me as a get-well gift. These two friends have more experience of time in hospital than anyone should ever have so I am prepared to take their advice seriously.
Step three: photos. Yup, I want a photographic record of my boobs. Unfortunately, the only friend I might have asked to do this for me is on the other side of the Atlantic. So I did my best with delayed shots and the camera balanced on the top of a suitcase. The results aren't going to win any prizes but, in sepia, they don't look so bad. And actually, when I look, my husband is right. There's not much to lose.
So now I have a couple of days to enjoy being with the family before my body gets screwed up by medical procedures for the foreseeable. I'm planning a trip to an amusement park. I want to do a real roller coaster for once.
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